This was my first experience of travelling between performances in order to conduct part of a concert in a different city.

On June 10th, after a morning performance of Rossini’s L’Italiana in Algeri in Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia, I took an airport transfer to Venice, since the direct flights from Ljubljana did not work for me, in order to fly to Paris. Heavy traffic on the road, stormy weather, and long queues at security in Venice meant that I had to run to the gate.

I learned two things that day: fast-track security can be a lifesaver, and it is never too early to leave for the airport when travelling by car. A valuable lesson about travel.

I arrived in Paris very late, but I had the opportunity to see a dear friend and colleague, „NF”. This young conductor, whom I met in Ravenna in 2019, won a previous edition of an important conducting competition. It is almost unbelievable how inspiring a half-hour conversation can be.

Although younger than me, “N” has more conducting experience than I do, and he spoke like an “old soul,” as I jokingly told him. It was also a surprise for me to observe him. On Instagram, I always see photos of him smiling while conducting, but when I asked him whether he was happy, he paused for a moment.

What followed made me aware of some of the struggles that may lie ahead of me. Until now, I have mostly worked on opera and ballet productions, which usually last three to four weeks and allow you to build relationships with singers, dancers, and orchestra musicians. Since I am someone who genuinely cares about people and enjoys creating meaningful connections, I have always appreciated this type of work.

Symphonic concerts, however, are different. You often spend only a few days with the musicians, which does not allow the same depth of connection. This was one of the things “N” mentioned, and I think it is an important topic, especially in the times we live in.

In this sense, the life of a conductor—and I assume it is similar for soloists—can be very lonely. Being surrounded by people while still feeling alone. Of course, quiet time for studying and preparation is essential, but the absence of the loving presence of people who care about you as a private person can be challenging.
Personally, I need an environment where I can simply be Mojca: gentle, sensitive, tired, vulnerable—the daughter, the sister, the friend. As conductors, we are constantly exposed and carry great responsibility. It can also feel as though we are being judged and evaluated all the time.

Why do we continue doing this job if it is so difficult, demanding, and, sadly, sometimes polluted by unhealthy dynamics? This was another question my dear colleague and I discussed.

Partly because we feel a responsibility for the spiritual well-being of humankind—a topic I will probably reflect on regularly. But beyond that, it is a calling that we cannot deny. I believe I am not the only one who has, at times, considered doing something else, only to discover that the inner force driving this path simply does not let go.

“Love conquers all.” In the end, it is Love—with a capital L—that gives meaning to the journey and strength for every step that follows.